FISHLOCK & THE FANTASTIC FIVE
Photo by Lewis Mitchell [lewismitchellphoto.photoshelter.com]
Rhys Richards
Jess Fishlock’s over-the-shoulder, side foot volley to defeat Bosnia in Cymru’s World Cup playoff match, was a finish of such undeniable, unfathomable beauty that it transcended the women’s game in this country. As the ball flew over Bosnian keeper Hodzic’s shoulder and nestled into the stanchion, the goal immediately barged its way into the conversation for the best goal ever scored in the stadium. Rubbing shoulders with efforts from esteemed company such as Gareth Bale, Peter Whittingham and Craig Bellamy.
In the dark recesses of social media exists a group who seek, for whatever reason, to denigrate the growth and quality of women’s football. You’ll find them in the comments underneath tweets about the women’s game. They lurk silently, waiting for someone to mention women’s football, for their chance to comment ‘who cares?’, their cartoon cackles reverberating off the walls of their man caves before the suffocating silence, waiting for the next tweet. Firstly, thousands care, as evidenced by the record attendance who witnessed Fishlock etch her name in history. Secondly, how absurd a notion is it to stalk social media, only to pounce into action to comment on things that you claim don’t interest you? Stop it. It’s weird and no-one likes it.
The beauty of Fishlock’s volley was in the objective quality and the unquestionable level of difficulty in scoring the goal. We’ve all tried it and the result vary from volleying the ball into the hypothetical row Z of a five a side pitch, to herniating disks. Put simply, it’s not a goal that can be scored from your armchair. The Bosnian centre back had gobbled up every high ball and cross prior to Rachel Rowe’s delivery, and this one had to be just right, or it would be headed away to safety like the dozen before. The cross was placed into the box with pinpoint accuracy, which 35-year-old Fishlock, with 105 minutes of football in her legs ran onto, salivating, ravenous for her opportunity to score. Had she had been a half-second slower, she’d have been at full stretch and not got the correct connection. But she struck the ball flush, on the side foot with enough guile to loop the ball into the top corner. A special goal from a special player. The kind of goal where fans scan the rest of the stand to check if everyone has witnessed the same thing. It made me think of where it compares with the best goals ever scored in the stadium.
At this point I must impress upon you that this is written from a home fan point of view and references to Ben Cabango, Michael Obafemi and the scoreline of last season’s South Wales derby will be met with extreme prejudice.
So, before anyone can ask ‘Ow mush, worr abou when the Swonz did the doube in your gaff?’, in no order and according to my specific criteria I present the following:
Gareth Bale v Austria 2022.
Big players score big goals. In a moment of laughable predictability, Cymru’s talisman popped up to place a free kick in the postage stamp to send us to the final v Ukraine. The ball was struck with an unbridled venom, surpassed only by its deadly accuracy into the top corner. El Capitan celebrated as if he had something to prove. He did. Not to the red wall of course, who shower him with unconditional admiration, but to the Spanish press, and one publication in particular – football daily ‘Marca’ who had labelled Bale a parasite. ‘Suck on that’ came the cry down the camera!
Gareth Bale v Iceland 2014
Alarmingly similar to his goal in the Copa Del Rey final which sunk El Classico rivals FC Barcelona, Bale received the ball with the Iceland goal just a glimmer on the horizon. In fact, if memory serves correct, the Whitchurch wizard received the ball just outside the burger van on Sloper Road and set off on an odyssey towards the Icelandic half. The ball glued to his foot, he only looked likely to lose possession as he joined the bottleneck queue outside the turnstiles at gate 5. When in the stadium he slalomed through flying, hacking challenges and scored a trademark left footed finish. This goal was better than the one scored at Camp Nou as instead of stabbing the ball under the goalkeeper, Bale whipped a curling left footed drive inside the far post. Unstoppable.
Mark Hudson v Derby County 2012
There are long distance goals and there are long distance goals. When now Cardiff City manager Mark Hudson struck the ball Cardiff played in blue shirts, by the time the ball had sailed over the Derby keeper and into the net Cardiff had been bought by a billionaire Bond villain, rebranded to red shirts and gained promotion to the Premier League. Such was the hang time on the shot, it came down with snow on it – fuelling calls from the Derby County staff to have the game abandoned on health and safety grounds.
Whittingham v Barnsley 2011
Much like Gareth Bale, the late, great Whitts could have his own category for best goal at the CCS. I’ve opted for the FIFA Street style goal versus Barnsley. Chosen in no small part due to the fact I was there, at least I think I was there. In the sense that every hippy in the 60s thinks they were at Woodstock. During this time, I worked on the concourse in a betting kiosk. The Canton stand faithful’s bets were always the same ‘2-1 City. Whitts to score first’. Whitts finish against Barnsley was the stuff of dreams, juggling the ball on with the inside of his left foot before whipping a left footed 25-yard volley into the top corner as the goalkeeper made a valiant grab, catching only thin air. You see, the thing about Peter Whittingham is, he does what he wants.
Gareth Bale v Scotland. 2012
Before Galactico Bale, there was Hollywood Bale. In this era, during the end of his tenure at Spurs, Bale would script, produce and direct his own mini epics. There was the hat-trick from 4-0 down at San Siro, a last-gasp winner vs West Ham and on this side of the bridge the most critically acclaimed of the trilogy – the winner in the rain vs Scotland. In the pouring rain, Bale ghosts past CCS favourite Charlie Adam and sets his sights on the Scottish goal. Brushed aside and screaming in orc language, Adam urges the rest of the uruk-hai army to hold the line to no avail. Bale has breached the Scottish defence and unleashes an 88th thunderbolt into the eye of Sauron and the red wall erupts!